3 Strategies for Discussing Erectile Dysfunction as a Couple

​Whether you are struggling with erectile dysfunction (or ED) yourself or your partner is, finding a way to talk about it openly in any relationship is important. Not only is honest and regular communication in general important to having a healthy relationship, but when it comes to sex and intimacy those conversations become even more critical. Hiding something like ED, or avoiding it in conversation, only brings you further apart from your partner, which, in turn, adds to more complications in your love life.
 
Of course, finding a way to talk about ED isn’t easy. Because it’s so personal, and because there’s such a negative stigma around it, many men are embarrassed about it, doing everything they can to avoid discussing it, sometimes even being in complete denial that it’s an issue. That means that, when it comes to discussing ED as a couple, it’s important to recognize that it is common. (According to latest statistics, 40% of men over 40 will be dealing with erectile dysfunction.)
 
While ED can feel isolating because it’s difficult to discuss, knowing that you have a committed partner who is there to support you makes a big difference. By opening up to your partner so that you can discuss ED, you’ll find that you not only feel better mentally and emotionally, but also that this openness can actually dramatically help the physical effects of ED - so much of our physical lives really is connected to how we’re thinking!
 
So, while many men will try to hide their struggles with ED, often going behind their partners’ backs in order to get medication to help, the best thing really is to start an open and honest conversation with your partner. After all, intimacy and sex is something that you both engage in, which is why it’s so important to have both people involved.
 
Want to start the conversation about ED but aren’t sure how? Here are three effective strategies for communicating about erectile dysfunction with your partner…
 

1. Don’t be afraid to share details. In order for your conversation to be open and honest, both partners need to share details about how ED is impacting them. Although it might feel uncomfortable or strange at first, remember that it does get easier the more you talk about it. Most importantly, enter the conversation without being defensive or judgmental, wanting to learn and listen rather than only sharing your experience.

 

1. Allow for two-way communication. Each of you should have a turn to talk about your experience and how that makes you feel. You should also be able to calmly ask and answer questions. To avoid fights or agitation, discuss how you want the structure of your conversation to go before actually starting. For example, you could start with each of you having a chance to share your experience without interruption, and then create space for questions.

 

1. Be proactive and supportive. Effective conversations about ED always have a plan of action so that both partners feel heard and so that progress can be made. Being supportive about what needs to happen next, and how you can help, is absolutely key.

 
Understanding that erectile dysfunction takes a toll psychologically as much as it does physically is a great way to start a conversation. Both of you will have an experience to share, which is why making time to allow each of you to be heard is so valuable. You’ll start to notice that the more you talk honestly about ED, the more supported you both will feel - and the better everything will get!