The majority of adults in today’s modern world see extreme events happening around them all the time. From news stories to social media posts, we are inundated with constant chaos, and that’s part of the reason why we’ve become so accustomed to it. Because of this desensitization to chaos, as well as other factors discussed below, we’ve started to look for ways to “liven” things up in our own lives, falsely believing that the “more things” that happen during a day (whether good or bad), the more we have to do, which, unfortunately, equates to importance in most people’s minds.
Wired for drama, these chaos-addicted adults actually enjoy inducing the stress response, although unconsciously in most cases.
In addition to the normalcy of chaos and extremes, many adults today have had childhoods that were far from desirable. When parents aren’t around, are unreliable, or are abusive, children grow into adults that believe life will just always be “chaotic and disorganized”. Even though they say they want their lives to be different, the reality is that they don’t actually believe it’s possible — and they will continue to find ways to prove themselves right, including creating chaos on a subconscious level.
For so many adults, chaos and negativity are part of their identity, a way to define themselves and a framework for sharing their experiences with others. When this happens, they unknowingly place themselves in the role of a victim, even though they’ll say they wish things were different. Because they continue to focus on the chaos and negative cycles in their lives, they continue to create more chaos and negativity. What you focus on is what you get because the words you say and the thoughts you have create energy. So, when you talk constantly about the chaos you have in your life, identifying with it as part of your story, then you shouldn’t be surprised when chaos continues to rear its ugly head around every corner.
In order to stop this negative cycle and break free from the storyline you’re living, you have to learn how to observe what you say and what you think. When you find yourself telling the same story about a negative event or when you feel like chaos is becoming part of your identity, then it’s time to refocus. What can you be grateful for? What can you celebrate? What’s a success you can share with your friends and family?
Breaking away from this cycle of chaos and the addiction you have to it can be difficult. In fact, it’s likely to feel impossible at first. But the more you realize how your thoughts and words create the life you are living, the more compelled you’ll be to try to shift your energy to something more powerful and more positive.
For so many adults addicted to chaos, one of the biggest problems is that they continue to perpetuate the belief that they are a victim. Like your thoughts and words, believing that chaos and victimhood are part of who you are leads to what is known as a self-fulfilling prophecy: You say you are something and so you are; you say something is going to happen and so it does.
In order to effectively start changing your mindset, you need to first realize that you can be something other than a victim, replacing your old story with something new. For a lot of people who seem to attract constant chaos, the reality is that they bring it in just so that they can perpetuate the identity they’ve created for themselves. Once you start to understand that you’re free to change your story, your thoughts, and your conversations, you’ll begin to notice that chaos loses its grip on your life.
And, like you’ve always wanted, the chaos actually starts to disappear — for good.