Bipolar Disorder and Relationships: 6 Things to Try Before Leaving

Whether you’re married to someone with bipolar disorder or in a relationship, the reality can be extremely difficult. While some days feel manageable, if not wonderful, others can be so trying that it makes you wonder if you should stay in the relationship and continue on with the rollercoaster of struggles. Of course, there’s no “right” answer. Every person with bipolar disorder is unique, as is every relationship. But, knowing how fragile these relationships can be, it’s important that, regardless of the trajectory you are wanting to take, you do your best to tend to your partner and yourself.
 
Below are six tips that can help improve relationships with individuals with bipolar disorder, which may help to mend a relationship that was once on its way to completely breaking. 

1. Understand Denial. A big part of the struggle when you’re in a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder is the denial. Not only will your partner deny having problems, there will also be moments when they’ll want to deny treatment or help altogether. That’s why, as their partner, it’s so important to know how to see through this and find effective strategies that can help them better see what’s really going on. 
2. Seek Professional Help. There’s a big difference between working with a professional and working with the right professional. In order to really be able to manage the difficulties of bipolar disorder, you need to have a professional who you connect with on a variety of levels. In the long run, the right doctor for you and your partner will help everyone feel better, not worse. 
3. Rely on Someone You Can Trust. Dealing with a partner who has bipolar disorder means that a lot falls on your plate — and there’s as well. That’s why it’s so important to have a trusted confidant you can go to in order to talk and decompress. Creating a “triangle” within your relationship can help spread the load, which can make everything more bearable for everyone. Of course, this person needs to be someone both partners trust, as well as someone who can handle the added pressure without having it turn into something negative in their own life and relationships. 
4. Set Ground Rules. With all of the ups and downs that come with bipolar disorder, it’s a good idea to create a set of rules that both partners agree to follow in order to make sure things don’t get out of control or that one person feels like they’re dealing with too much on their own. Whatever these rules are for you and your partner, write them down so that you can refer back and hold each other accountable, especially in the beginning when you’re just getting used to new limits. 
5. Listen and Learn. When you have a partner who has bipolar disorder, it’s likely that they’ll say things that hurt, whether directed at you or themselves. Learning to listen to them is essential. But, even more essential, is remembering that what they’re saying during an episode isn’t really them — it’s their disorder. Being able to separate words from the person helps you stay calm and collected even when things escalate and get intense. 
6. Take Care of Yourself. Having a relationship with someone who has bipolar disorder can take a toll on you, physically as well as emotionally.  Make sure you are setting aside time for yourself so that you can avoid feeling burnt out and tired. Also be aware that your mental health can have physical symptoms, such as nausea, headaches, loss of sleep, lack of sexual desire, and decreased appetite. You can’t take care of your partner if you’re not coming from a place of well-being yourself. 

Deciding to end a relationship is a big decision, but so is the choice to stay in a relationship. Know that you have a choice and that ultimately the path forward is for you to create.