Why Making Date Night a Priority is Essential for Parents

Whether you’re a believer or not, research is clear about the importance of date nights, especially for parents. According to a recent study published by the Gottman Institute (which has become the basis for the book Eight Dates), “couples who go on a weekly date have better relationships”. Period.
 
Yes, it’s easy to get busy and overwhelmed as a parent, making it feel impossible to even sneak away from your responsibilities for a minute, let alone an entire evening. But that’s where the logic begins to break: Taking care of your relationship is a parenting responsibility, albeit one that is regularly overlooked by stressed-out, overwhelmed parents.
 
Your kids are, of course, wonderful. And, yes, they deserve your attention, love, and affection. They are, however, no excuse to neglect your marriage or your relationship with your partner. After all, that significant other is just as important!
 
Making time for date night (or date morning or afternoon) is an investment in your relationship. And, when your relationship succeeds, you actually improve your ability to parent. No matter how much you think “you’ve got this” in your relationship, the truth is that if you’re not making regular commitments to each other, then you are neglecting it.
 
By ensuring that you get out regularly on a one-on-one date, you’ll quickly start to see the benefits - both in your relationship and in your parenting.
 
Three of the biggest benefits of enjoying regular date time as parents are…
 

1. You have a chance to re-connect. Just because you are with each other at home doesn’t mean you are actually connecting, especially if you are spending most of your time together parenting and managing your home. In order to really connect, you need time to give each other your undivided attention - and you need to have fun, too! It’s good to remember that, although you are now also a mom or a dad, you are still that person who existed before your children were born.

 

1. You model a healthy relationship. Part of being a good parent is showing your children what a healthy, functioning relationship looks like. The more you invest in your partner, the more your kids will understand how to succeed in their own relationships as they get older. Furthermore, it’s really good for your kids to have some time away from you. While you don’t want to lose all dependence, creating healthy independence can boost your children’s confidence - and help them enjoy spending time with you even more when you return. Think of your date time with your partner as an exceptional teaching moment for your children - one you don’t want to miss out on!

 

1. The benefits outweigh the excuses. No matter how much you think you can’t have a date night (whether it’s time or money or another one of the hundreds of excuses used on a regular basis), going on a date is absolutely possible. And you can do it more often than you think. Not only do dates not have to be expensive (there are plenty of great free options), but they can be done on any day and at any time. Exercise some creativity and you’ll be surprised at what you come up with. Remind yourself of the benefits and convince yourself and your partner that regular dates are non-negotiable!

 
The most important part of regular dating for parents is that it strengthens their relationship, creating a better foundation for parenting - one that allows kids to thrive. Toss your excuses and reservations to the side and start planning!